Gladly Would I Teach

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My seniors take the AP English Language and Composition test at 8:00 tomorrow morning. They are prepared and ready to go, but every year I worry myself sick as I sit alone in my classroom and wonder about how the kids will perform. Did tell them . . . ? Did I spend enough time on . . . ?

I’ve been teaching so long that I know I have covered everything the kids need to know, and I am sure that they are as well prepared as I could possibly desire. Tomorrow, morning, however, I will still be nervous and sick to my stomach. I will still reach panic mode when one of 140 students walks into my classroom because he forgot the test or was late for the test (happens every year).

A couple of months from now when the scores come in, I will celebrate and congratulate the kids who makes 3′s, 4′s, and 5′s, but I will blame myself if kids don’t pass.

Why is it that teachers always think it’s their fault when students struggle?

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 Edie Parrott

I have been thinking of retiring for the last year or so, but I love teaching too much and planned to teach probably another two to three years. I have great kids and teach in a wonderful school. Unfortunately, however, because of the terrible economy, my school district is laying-off over 500 teachers.

500 teachers will lose their jobs in a school system that has never layed-off teachers.

Last week I turned in my retirement papers and will end my 32-year career next week when my seniors graduate. I wanted to stay, but it’s hard to justify holding on to my job when I know that my retirement will allow another teacher to keep his or her job. I know many teachers who dream of the day when they can retire, but I’ve never been one of them. I thought I would teach until someone had to drag me kicking and screaming out of my classroom.

I never thought I would have to leave because of the economy.

I wanted to keep teaching, but sometimes we just have to walk away and make room for the younger teachers who follow us.

This week is hard as I bring the semester to a close with my seniors. Next week will be even harder as I say good-bye and watch them walk across the stage at graduation.

In all of my years of training as a teacher, I learned volumes about how to walk into a classroom and begin my teaching career. I never learned, however, how to lock my classroom and walk away at the end of my career.

Lord, give me strength!

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 Edie Parrott