Twice each year, we hold Open House for parents. Years ago I used to worry for days about these nights. Parents would follow their children’s schedules, and teachers would have about ten minutes to tell parents what students were learning in each class.
Over the years I have had some wonderful experiences at Open House Nights, but I have also had a couple of bad experiences. My worst experience was in my third year of teaching. The five teachers in my middle school team pulled about 100 parents into a large room to meet with them together. After I distributed handouts and provided my best ten-minute synopsis of the class, an extremely loud and obnoxious parent stood up in the meeting and proceeded to express how unhappy she was with my teaching because I required too much writing and too few grammar exercises. She angrily challenged every explanation I provided. To add to my consternation, the chairman of the board of education was sitting in my classroom while this happened.
As a 23-year-old inexperienced teacher, I was visibly shaken, and I mustered all of my fortitude just to keep from breaking into tears.
Finally a few parents and other teachers stopped the woman and we moved on. Later in the evening, many of the parents stayed around to see me individually and encourage me. The chairman of the board apologized for the outburst and told me that he wished it had never happened. Everyone was so positive and reassuring.
When I went home that night and when I returned to school the following morning, I, unfortunately, didn’t think of all of the parents who had been so positive. I thought only about the parent who had been so critical.
SO, when Open House rolls around each semester, I worry. I know that most of the parents will be kind and encouraging and will thank me for teaching their children. I worry about the one parent – the one who will attack, or criticize, or question everything I do.
Last night was wonderful. Parents were very happy and supportive, and the only comment that was even close to being critical came from a parent who said his son was always working on assignments for my class, but he went on to say that he thought that would help prepare him for college.
I’m very lucky because most of the parents were lovely and thanked me with such kind remarks. Since I teach all seniors and this is their final semester of high school, I didn’t have that many parents who came by to see me. One or both parents of only 19 of my 70 students stopped by along with another 10 or so parents of students I taught first semester.
It was a good night. No one yelled or criticized.
I needed that since I awoke this morning to the news that we will be furloughed three more days.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 Edie Parrott
2 comments on this topic
29. January - 10:03 pm
I’m sorry to hear that you will be furloughed three days.
You should be proud of yourself that you held it together under attack from a parent. There are some people who are like that, but (luckily) they’re few and far between.
30. January - 4:06 pm
Thanks, Theresa! This event actually happened 30 years ago, but I remember it as if it had happened yesterday. I agree that people like this are rare because I haven’t had a similar situation in years!
30. January - 10:24 pm
Open House.
Shudders.
It makes me think of Open Season… parents can be supportive or hyper critical. Last year, a parent told me that she felt sorry for her son “having to read those boring books.”
Lawd.
I have horrible nightmares.
Still.
31. January - 2:03 am
For parent meetings en masse…I outline the etiquette…”This parent meeting is about things in general and is to familiarise you with x. If you have any concerns or you wish to discuss your child or a topic in detail please see me at the end of the meeting.”
For parents that bring up an issue anyway, “The short answer is x. However I am really conscious of the time. I am happy to see you afterwards to talk about this.” If you mention that the meeting may run overtime again the other parents may feel forced to intervene.
At the end of the meeting I finish with, “I am looking for parent volunteers and helpers. Please see me if you are interested in helping out.” Anyone that sees you after the meeting will now be a) a parent that wants to volunteer or b) a parent with a concern. This is deliberate. You will have an a) clipboard and a b) clipboard tucked under your arm.
After the first parent speaks to you and you then ask them to volunteer time, items or money the queue tends to shorten : ) It also tends to shorten when they realise that you did mean it when you asked that they book another interview time and you don’t actually want to be there until midnight. Some parents in the queue will have a small concern. You will not give them a) or b) clipboards. Those clipboards are conversation enders…use them as required. The worst thing that can happen is that you will be inundated with egg cartons and magazines….parents would rather sign the donations clipboard than the interview clipboard.
Parent meetings are generally my best opportunity to find a parent volunteer for the 5 day camp…parents are generally not keen on five days without sleep or a hot shower and they don’t want to give up their leave or forego their salary. The word ‘camp’ tends to make all parents flee. On the upside anyone that is still in the queue is likely to be delighted at being personally asked to be a camp helper. On the downside…grammar parent is likely to volunteer….they want to see if they can make you cry some more. : ) Score…as no parent wants to leave their child with them…you will no longer have to worry about finding a camp helper.
Open House can be…sort of fun.
31. January - 10:26 am
Sue, I love the idea of asking for volunteers! Since my school changed the format of Open House, we have a much easier time. We used to encounter trouble when parents followed their children’s schedule because too many of them showed up at the wrong time. For example, parents of my British Literature students would show up when I was talking to AP parents. That was frustrating because parents didn’t want to have to walk to a different building and then return to my classroom later. Now, we simply have a walk-in procedure where parents meet teachers individually from 5:00 to 7:00. Since the PTA meeting is held at 7:00, parents can’t detain teachers beyond the cut-off time. I find this format much more relaxing and interesting. I enjoy Open House — except for the late hours.