08 Dec
Kids Who Give Up
Posted in Parents, Student Behavior, Students, Teacher Frustration on 08.12.09
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Yesterday I walked around the classroom and collected research papers. When I reached a student who has a low grade in the class, he looked up at me and told me he didn’t write the paper because he didn’t think he could pass anyway.
He just gave up!
He didn’t even attempt the paper.
Although I had discussed his grade with him a little over a week ago and emphasized that it was still possible for him to pass if he did well on the remaining assignments, he didn’t even try.
Of all of the students who exasperate me, I think students who exhibit defeatist attitudes are the most perplexing. Normally, I would analyze the student and try to ascertain why he gave up so easily when most students in the class are still fighting to make the highest grade they can acquire. I didn’t today.
I think I understand part of this student’s problem because a few weeks ago I called the father to discuss his son’s grades. Regardless of what I said, the father responded, “It’s up to him. He has to make the decision to work and pass the class.” I wanted to shake the father and tell him how important it is for him to encourage his son.
I guess when children reach 17 or 18, parents have to back off and make kids stand on their own.
The student will indeed fail since he did not submit a research paper, and next semester he will take a different English course since he has to pass one more English class in order to graduate.
The student just gave up, and I think I am sadder about it than he is.
2 comments on this topic
8. December - 1:09 pm
Yikes… that is perplexing and an interesting debate. As students grow up, I do see parents releasing responsibility to their children… that being said, encouragement is something I’d like to hope all parents give their children, even into adulthood.
12. December - 7:24 pm
It depends on how he gave up. If he gave up because he has poor self esteem and doesn’t think he can do things, that is one thing. But it is something else entirely if he legitimately could not pass. Learning when to bail and spend your limited time and resources elsewhere is a very useful skill! It’s how I survived grad school.
13. December - 4:16 pm
I’m still trying to decide if I agree, Derek. I see your point, but I still believe that students should keep working and keep trying regardless of the grade. While it’s true that the student might not be able to pass, he can still learn, and, even though it often gets lost in our highly-competitive society, learning is more important than the grade.
15. December - 10:27 pm
True. He could do it, and if he put in a good effort and still failed, you’d probably throw him a bone anyway. And even if not, it would probably be easier the second time around. But that’s not how he’s making his decisions. He is, i would imagine, looking at the time investment required and the probability of success and deciding that there are better uses for his time. It may not be the perspective you prefer, but it’s certainly rational. He may not be be doing well in English, but I think this kid has a promising future career in finance.